When I talk to people about Whizzy, the wolf that is within me, they often look bewildered and confused. The idea of an alter ego in the first place is something many can’t grasp. If I tell them that this alter ego is not just “in my mind” the confusion only grows.
In a night like this (full moon, Blood moon soon rising in the USA) I can not sleep. Primal feelings are conflicting within me. Rage, anger and frustration are swapping constantly with love, peace and kindness. The two wolves of love and hate posted before (and here again ;)) are fighting for victory. The full moon, actually the days before the full moon and the days after as well, are among the most tiresome for me. Sleeping seems impossible and the energy is overflowing.
In many cultures their are spirit animals and their are many explanations on “how to find your spirit animal or spirit guide”. For me, the wolf presented itself in a vision I had when I was camping alone in the Belgian/Luxembourg forest the Ardennes. I still can recall this vision in my head although I would have a hard time describing it to you. It made itself known a Blaez which I later learned is old Breton for Wolf (did you know that Adolph means Noble Wolf? what a wrong name a certain dictator got) and it was a big dark brown wolf I guess twice the size of a German Shepherd. It took me on a journey and showed me the beauty of our precious mother earth. I have never seen waterfalls in real life, nor have I seen the canyons or fjords up close, yet during this vision they all where presented to me.
Now some of you might say that the mushrooms I took that night might have something to do with it and I agree, however.. mushrooms are when used properly, nothing more then a tool to awaken that what is inside us already.
I created Whizzy to represent my “evil” side thus Whizzy is a werewolf. However, since I met Blaez I noticed my “evil” has gone for a great part. I am in no way perfect. Just as everybody else I make mistakes, hurt people, say the wrong things etc. However since that day I also have much less of a problem with just loving people, giving hem my trust and becoming friends with them. I stopped looking at who they are but rather focused on what they represent to be.
What also happened that day si my connection with the animal world. Dogs, cats, birds and deers alike often come to me without me calling them. I can approach almost any animal I encounter without being fearful it will harm me (ok ok I haven’t tried lions and hippos yet) and when I go to the park it can happen that doves/pigeons will land next to me on a bench or even on my shoulder
I love my spirit wolf, Blaez is one of the best things that ever happened to me and I truly wish everyone could experience such an event although I do not recommend using the mushrooms if you never did that before.
The Spirit Wolf:
Through the transient fog of the dark winter night,
peered haunting blue eyes with their soft glowing light.
The powerful stare with its brilliance and intricacy,
brought on a shivering response full of caution and mystery.
They seemed to float through the air with great charm,
in an effort to announce that “they meant you no harm.”
Yet as subtle as the movements had tried to be,
an eerie feeling of desolation abruptly overtook me.
As I fell to the frozen, unforgiving, forest floor,
I noticed those two eyes had been accompanied by two more!
Soon there were three enchanting pairs upon me,
watching and listening, gliding through the trees,
With one final shiver the dark night became black,
I knew as I slept, that I would not be coming back.
I dreamt of a thousand things that night,
mostly about a past I wanted to fix and make right.
The bright morning sun was the next thing I saw,
which was followed by the touch of a rather large paw!
And after providing a steaming kiss on the nose,
the wolf disappeared, and I arose.
In the snow at my feet, there were paw prints all about,
and the surrounding outlines of the bodies, which helped keep the winter out.
The howl which followed, echoed forever it seemed…
conveying the heartfelt message, “you are important to me.”