Duck with Scottish Whiskey
Buy a duck (5 kilo) for 6 people; two bottles of Scottish Whiskey, bacon, olive oil
Lard the duck and rub with salt and pepper.
Preheat the oven at 180° celcius, and fill half a glas of whisky. Drink the whisky while the oven preheats. Put the duck in an ovendish and fill a second glass of whisky. Put the duck in the oven and drink the whisky.
After 20 minutes, turn the oven to 200 degrees and vill two glazzez of wiski. Drink the glazzez and clean up the splinters of de first glaz. Pour another glaz and drinkit.
After thirty minits open de ovvento sjeck on the duk. Go to batroom to look fur oointment to put on de lefthand. Kik de ovven !
Pour two glazzez of wiski and drink up the middle glaz. Open de ovven and teek out de duk. Put oointment on right hand and pick up duk from grount. Pickit up a second time and make towwel wet to clean ointment from de duk.
Klean hands with viski. Pickup duk again and put in ovven. Open sec cond botel of viski and try to get up. Pikup tuub of hointment from grount.
Keeb zitting on de floor and put bottel of viski on de floor. Drink from de botel bicoz al de glazez aar brooken. Turn of ovven, cloos eyes and fall on grount again.
Next morning: garnish the duck with lemongrass; clean up the kitchen and the ceiling. Clean up all the broken glass and bring it together with the two empty bottles to the container. Stop at the pharmacist to get some maalox.